Normalising help

The culture of individualism has taught us to value independence and self-reliance, and focus on our own goals in life.

It is not surprising that the self-help book category has exploded in popularity the past decade. I think it is important to realise that we can take responsibility for our own life, and that we are more equipped than ever to do that.

But this culture erodes the willingness to ask others for help. Somehow we have got to the point where we equate asking for help with weakness. We seem to have lost the realisation that we can't flourish without the help of others, and our communities.

Nobody built roads, schools, or hospitals alone. We can't survive alone.

Asking for help is something that I've had to learn to value in recent years. Living in the Philippines particularly has enabled me to recognise and value the culture of community, and asking for help from others. One of my areas to grow is to improve my willingness and effectiveness at asking for help.

A tool we've used to do this at home is a weekly check-in, where we express gratitude to each other for the help over the week, and then explain what help we need from the other person over the coming week. We've been doing this every week for over 5 years.

This process has helped us to strengthen our relationship. For me it has normalised the process of asking for help, something that I think we could all value a little more.