"So make a practice at once of saying to every strong impression: ‘An impression is all you are, not the source of the impression.’ Then test and assess it with your criteria, but one primarily: ask, ‘Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?’ And if it’s not one of the things that you control, be ready with the reaction, ‘Then it’s none of my concern.’" - Epictetus, Enchiridion 1.5
Principle: Review your recent emotional responses.
"Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it is easier to maintain control." - Epictetus, Enchiridion 20
Insight: Anything outside your control should be of no concern - considered response is yours to control.
Principle: Pause, assess, then respond.
"Of all existing things some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing." - Epictetus, Enchiridion 1
Insight: Effort or intent is what matters, because that is what we control.
Principle: Ask: "Is this within my power?"
"I am content if I am in accord with Nature in what I will to get and will to avoid, if I follow Nature in impulse to act and to refrain from action, in purpose, and design and assent." - Epictetus, Discourses 22
Principle: Follow nature.
"We can familiarise ourselves with the will of nature by calling to mind our common experiences. When a friend breaks a glass, we are quick to say, ‘Oh, bad luck.’ It’s only reasonable, then, that when a glass of your own breaks, you accept it in the same patient spirit. Moving on to graver things: when somebody’s wife or child dies, to a man we all routinely say, ‘Well, that’s part of life.’ But if one of our own family is involved, then right away it’s ‘Poor, poor me!’ We would do better to remember how we react when a similar loss afflicts others." - Epictetus, Enchiridion 26
Principle: Take a 3rd party perspective.
"Avoid fraternising with non-philosophers. If you must, though, be careful not to sink to their level; because, you know, if a companion is dirty, his friends cannot help but get a little dirty too, no matter how clean they started out...Refuse the entertainments of strangers and the vulgar." - Epictetus, Enchiridion 23.6
Principle: Choose your company well.
"In your conversation, don’t dwell at excessive length on your own deeds or adventures. Just because you enjoy recounting your exploits doesn’t mean that others derive the same pleasure from hearing about them." - Epictetus, Enchiridion 23.14
Principle: Let the other person talk.
"On no occasion call yourself a philosopher, nor talk at large of your principles among the multitude, but act on your principles. For instance, at a banquet do not say how one ought to eat, but eat as you ought." - Epictetus, Enchiridion 46
Principle: Educate by example.
